The relationship ended in the spring. The streaming account did not. For four years he watched on her mother's plan, under a profile still called 'Babe,' and every so often the algorithm recommended him a romantic comedy, which he took personally.

Nobody ever said anything. The password changed on a Sunday night, mid-episode, two minutes before the finale. He has since learned that her mother had known the whole time, and had simply been waiting for him to get really invested.